Eating out

It didn’t take too many meals to learn that dining etiquette in Turkey was quite different than what we were accustomed to at home. The idea of server ‘attention’ is exactly opposite of what the word denotes. Their attention is actually a lack thereof. Meal time for the Turkish people is obviously a public forum in which to gather and talk and relax with very minimum attention from the 'intruding' wait staff.  It appears that their task is to be available to serve but only when requested by the patron. 

After seating patrons and presenting menus, the waiter retreats. For our first several meals, we waited patiently for the waiter to return to take our drink order. That never happened. By the time they finally got back to us, we had long since made our selections and were eager to give them to the waiter in case he retreated for another lengthy absence, which he did. For the first couple days of meals, we never able to give a drink order, as we were never asked. Only when the meals arrived were we able to ask for drinks. 

We did occasionally get a piping hot glass of Turkish tea up front, sometimes without asking. While it was nice to have, they were always served in tiny little glasses. Just enough to sip slowly. Certainly not what we would consider a drink to accompany a meal.

After the food was delivered, the waiter would again retreat for the duration of our stay. They rarely came back to check on us and certainly were not interested in refilling our drinks. They don’t even return to present the check without calling for their attention.

Their custom seems to be that the patron is never rushed or hurried along, and even encouraged to stay and relax, lounging on cushions, and almost always offered large hookah pipes. Each evening as we walked through the small winding corridors of the old city, we peered into restaurants which were filled with people reclining, chatting, and puffing away on the large ornate pipes.

Some other meal facts we observed were that no restaurants ever had female waitresses, only male waiters. Women could occasionally be seen in the kitchens, but never interacting with the guests.

Dinning places were usually adorned in beautifully crafted fabrics, lamps, and cushions. The atmospheres are designed for the patron to relax and enjoy their comfortable settings.

Although the waiters were largely absent for the meal, they were always very friendly, and a common phrases they all knew and frequently used was “of course”, which was usually delivered with a slight nod.

Drinking with meals is apparently not a thing with them except for the

typical tiny glass of hot tea. We were told that the glasses were tiny because the Turkish people like their tea hot, and would rather sacrifice the quantity for quality. Also, forget any ice for drinks. There isn't any. If you want something cold you will get refrigerated at best, and that is not always guaranteed.

What they do have here are french fries. In fact every place has french fries. Everyday, for every meal, with almost everything you order, all the time, breakfast, lunch and dinner, french fries come with most dishes, without asking, like it or not. Even for a typical breakfast of eggs, vegetables and cheese, there are always french fries served with it. And these are not the good homemade kind. They are always the plain cheap ones similar to what you would buy frozen in an oversize bag from Sams. But don't worry about finding the ketchup to go with them. they wont last that long. While a buffet may have an unlimited supply of fries, when they come with a meal there are only a few. They appear to be a garnish to accentuate the meal, not to be part of the meal.